Your Author, Ruri

We can only look back to the past with fondness. The youthful energy. The vibrant joy of simplicity and innocence. And even though we can’t go back to simpler times, the happy memories we have is a testament that we can find joy wherever we are in our timeline. Believe that the past you and the future you are cheering you on. You got this.

We work on ourselves every day that we tend to forget how far we've come. We’re so obsessed with what we can do more, in what we can improve more, that we often forget to appreciate the reflection we daily see in the mirror; the mind we’ve cultivated through storms and seasons. We forgot how we used to be until we came across a post or a photo or a page from our journal years ago. And that’s when it hit us. That’s when we knew.

Looking back, I began thinking... Was there anything I had missed out? Was there anything worth holding on to? Was there anything I'd rather do? Would it bring me comfort if I say I have no regrets? It's not that difficult because there's no use thinking of things that were already done. I used to think that way, and it's become much easier to look at where I am today, who I am. What can I do more? Do less? I'm still learning how to love myself. This year I'm cleaning my closet again, asking the same questions: What do I not need? What do I need to let go? What is it that holds no value to me anymore? I allow myself to receive by giving. I'm freeing up the once cluttered space, and maybe, slowly... it's not the only thing that's gonna open up. Time flies quickly. It passes by whether we like it or not. Whether we move or not. Better make the most out of the days, and sleep at night as much as you can. The steps are steep; the road, long and winding. ...

The last time I wrote in the dark, the only light coming from my phone's screen, was in our province, January of 2018. I've liked that piece since then, no matter how tragic it looks at the beginning. But no matter how tragic it looks at the beginning, it ends on a hopeful note. And it's good enough for me. And now that I'm in a similar situation, I can't help but think that I could write something like that again. Somehow, I'd like to prove we can still make something beautiful out of the dark; something good out of frustration; something comforting out of the discomfort.

The only thing I'm proud of is my cooking. My writing needs more exercise, though.

Hey, one more step then? Just one little bit more, my stars. Just one little bit more. (Written: 12Dec2019)

31Dec2018 Dear You and Me, Know what, you don't have to be strong all the time.

You have to learn to accept that you can't always get what you want at the time you want it.

I got something while watching TV earlier. The host shared a quote that says: Life isn't supposed to be happy. Life is supposed to be meaningful.

It's only recently that I have found the joy in writing, and in sharing it with others.

I think it's the confidence in your choices that makes them the right one.

24Dec2017 Dear You and Me, After all you've gone through, I know you'll work to be a better person because you know well how hard things could get, and it makes you determined not to let others feel the same.

I'm 2_. I'm 2_ and probably my high school classmates who just got wedded with one week intervals have the same age as me.

I hate bullies. They make others feel miserable just to feel good about themselves. One cries in their sleep in the middle of the night because of it.

Pursed lips become a smile with just a centimeter of a curve Arms wrapped around me, I sway to the lullaby I hum to myself

Stars, don't shut the lights This is changing times