I Hate Bullies (journal entry)

I hate bullies. They make others feel miserable just to feel good about themselves. One cries in their sleep in the middle of the night because of it.
I know I’m crying, but it's only when tears appear and run sideways makes me feel it's real. Sometimes I just continue sleeping, brushing it off only as a bad dream. Tears dry up on their own after all, and emotions are forgotten upon waking. But tonight, I feel the need to write this down in my dim-lit room (I keep the lights at minimum in attempt to prolong the emotions I can manage to capture before they run off or morph into something entirely different). Tonight, I choose to confront it.

If there was anything I learned from feel-good fairy tales like Cinderella, it's that fairy godmothers don't exist; and princes and whoever it is you wish or expect to save you. It's just you. And it's fine. It is I who wiped off the tears on my face. It has only been me whenever I wake up like this, and I'm not saying this out of loneliness but out of guarantee there's more than loneliness.

I believe there is strength in wiping one's own tears. No room for self-pity or wishing for someone to do it for you. It lifts you up even a little; even if remnants of bad memories can still haunt you at times. You aren't miserable anymore. Not tonight. Definitely not tonight.

(Written: 22Aug2017)