rock and slip (journal entry)

I woke up past midnight and thought the ground was moving; the subtlest, slowest back and forth movement enough to be noticed by someone with vertigo tendencies.

I lay still, feeling my surroundings, trying to confirm if it was real or if I was just imagining it. Was it only in my head—the dizziness, the rocking. A couple of seconds passed and the shake seemed to deflate into a less recognizable, slower movement; probably sensing my awareness, my fear it'll blow up into a massive quake predicted to strike anytime now.

Maybe I just pretended it was slowing down.

Maybe I just convinced myself it was to comfort me.

Nothing was wrong, I thought. It was all right now.

Go back to sleep and not think of it.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breath, trying to regain the simplest passing of air—to my lungs, to my brain. I tried to ignore the faint light coming from the lamp I always leave on while sleeping.

Eyes closed, I felt a familiar sensation enveloping my head, and there I began floating... more of slipping away, again.

(Written: 16Nov2019)