I can't place it (journal entry)
When I close my eyes I come to see the perfect
image describing the feeling that's been nagging me for the past few days.
There I was standing at the edge of a cliff, unmoving. It's pretty frustrating, to just stand there, neither stepping away nor attempting to jump off. I've never felt such a consuming irritation and helplessness; feelings worse than fear or rejection. What's next? Always the same question. Always the same. I wonder if I'll get the answer soon enough. A clear set of steps. A clear path.
There I was standing at the edge of a cliff, unmoving. It's pretty frustrating, to just stand there, neither stepping away nor attempting to jump off. I've never felt such a consuming irritation and helplessness; feelings worse than fear or rejection. What's next? Always the same question. Always the same. I wonder if I'll get the answer soon enough. A clear set of steps. A clear path.
I changed the curtains today. Somehow it feels off
having two greens instead of two different colors. Maybe it's the shade, quite
a dull tinge. Anyhow, I'll get used to it. And to the room's new look. It looks
wider now and less messy. I think it's for the best.
(Written: 11Dec2019)
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